How To: Make a pot of Frankenblend coffee

We’ve all been there. There are four different bags of coffee left on the coffee shelf in your pantry.  That Starbucks Ethiopian Sidamo, a little Transcend Coffee Kenya Kiamabara, some Kona you picked up on vacation. Each one only has a handful of beans left, not enough to make a whole pot of coffee, but too much to throw out, especially if you’re frugal like me.

So, how did we get here? You know that new bag of coffee you just brought home from the cafe? Mighty tempting, isn’t it? All super-fresh and flavourful. The last bag of coffee is almost done, and you’ll totally finish it tomorrow, so why not open the new bag and indulge in a cup of super-fresh brew right now? What’s the harm in that?

Before you know it, there’s a pile of old coffee bags held closed with elastics or those metal bendy things. As the stack builds, your neat-freak reflexes take over. You need to clear them off the shelf before they fall off when you drowsily reach for the peanut butter.

And what can we do about this? Easy. Make a Frankenblend, combining the leftover bits into a brew designed to ease your conscience by saving you from wasting any coffee, while providing a low-risk adventure for your taste buds.

A few tips:

– Be mindful of levels of staleness. If all the bags are really stale, that’s OK, but don’t mix one really stale coffee in with other beans that are reasonably fresh.

– Try to determine which bags will add up to enough coffee for one pot, leaving no bag half-finished. It’s like a nothing-but-net shot in basketball.

– Theme it! Maybe an all-Starbucks Frankenblend, or maybe only coffees from Kenya. For this day only, you can live out your childhood fantasy of working as a professional coffee blender. (What? I’m the only one?)

– This is a limited-edition, one-off thing. If it’s great, you only get the one shot at it. If it’s terrible, you only have to endure the one pot of it.

– It may well be the most exciting moment of your day. Savour it.

RATINGS

Cost: Free, assuming you’d have thrown the leftovers away. (Please don’t throw the leftovers away.)

Value for Money: Excellent. If you didn’t use up the rest, you’d be throwing it out. And we all know you can’t do that.

Ease of Preparation: Grade-school. It’s as easy as dumping some stuff in the grinder and crossing your fingers.

Nutrition?: It’s coffee. Don’t overdo it.

Remember: Frankenstein was the doctor, not the monster.

The verdict: Exciting! Frugal! Delicious? Maybe. That depends entirely on your blending skills and stock of leftover coffee.